“Dad’s Classic Car” – (Spoof)

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DAD’S CLASSIC CAR (SPOOF)
A Family Spoof Screenplay by Tom Stover

 Introduction:

What happens when a simple birthday dinner outing, turns into a full-blown parking lot “Family Calamity?”

 

Dad wanted to celebrate at his favorite restaurant.
Mom wanted a peaceful family evening.
Sister wanted something more (as usual).
And John? He just wanted to check out.

The Plot thickens when Dad spots a classic 1970 Chevy Chevelle — the same model he once had to sell decades ago — emotions run wild, accusations fly, and the family’s sanity takes a nosedive.

Is it a heartfelt reunion? A cruel prank? Or just another night with the world’s most dysfunctional family?

Spoiler: Someone’s calling 911. Someone’s laughing. Someone’s getting blamed. And no one is leaving without dessert.

A spoof screenplay filled with nostalgia, chaos, and way too much family drama — Dad’s Classic Car (SPOOF) will make you laugh, cringe, and wonder why your family suddenly feels so normal.

 

Author’s Note

This spoof started as a simple skit — a playful “what if” about a dad, his family, and a classic car he never quite got over. Somewhere along the way, it grew into a full screenplay, then into a fully illustrated script.

Like the Classic Chevelle itself, this project became a way of looking back, laughing at the chaos, and realizing that sometimes family dysfunction makes for the best comedy.

To my family and friends who inspired bits and pieces of this story: thank you for being my cast of characters — whether you meant to or not.

And to anyone reading this: if your dad ever points at a classic car and says, “That’s the one I used to have…” — buckle up.

— Tom Stover
August 2025

 

 Let the Script Begin:

 

 “Dad’s Classic Car” – (Spoof) - Original Skit by Tom Stover

 

Script Form:

EXT. RESTAURANT PARKING LOT –

Dad is in his late 50’s is with his wife / Mom who is a few years younger than dad and they are with their two adult children who are in their 30’s.

 

The Four Characters in this Skit –

 (Photos are AI generated and character's, images, / appearance won't be exact throughout this skit)

Dad (57): Easy going, kind hearted, fun loving, trustworthy loyal husband and father.

 

Mom (56): Loyal wife, doting mother, kind hearted, trustworthy.

 

Son (30s): A few years older than sister – keeps to himself, serious type, normal personality but has a few sibling and family issues he continues to deal with.

Sister (30s): Jealousy issues, sees a psychiatrist since early age, quick to make assumptions, loves her parents who have coddled her from day one. Ongoing sibling rivalry with older brother since early childhood.

EXTERIOR. DAD’S VEHICLE – MOVING

Dad and Mom with adult children in their 30s together in dad’s car. Dad drives into the parking lot at his favorite restaurant to celebrate his 57th Birthday.

A classic soft rock song from the 70s is heard from the radio.

The vehicle drives slowly, looking for a parking spot.

INTERIOR. DAD’S VEHICLE – CONTINUOUS

CLOSE ON: Dad and Mom smiling, enjoying the song.

CLOSE ON: Son in the backseat concentrating on his cellphone while Sister stares stoically out the rear side window at the sky.

Scene Transition 

EXTERIOR. RESTAURANT PARKING LOT – CONTINUOUS

The car moves into a spot a few rows from the entrance. Dad shuts 

off the engine. The music stops

 

EXTERIOR. RESTAURANT PARKING LOT – CONTINUOUS

 

Dad, Mom, Son, and Sister walk toward the entrance.

Son scrolls his phone, lagging behind, brushing against a parked car, irritated.

(He doesn’t want to be here — he feels obligated, thinks he has better things to do, especially with his sister present.)

MOM - Today like the past 25 years, we celebrate your birthday at your favorite restaurant!

DAD - With the woman I love and our two wonderful children, does it get any better than that!?

Dad puts his arm around Mom. She nestles her head on his shoulder.

 

Sister smiles at their display of love.

EXTERIOR. RESTAURANT PARKING LOT – NEAR ENTRANCE

A 1970 classic Chevy Chevelle gleams near the restaurant entrance.

 

Dad’s eyes light up. As he hurries ahead.

DAD - This beauty looks just like the one I had years ago!

Mom moves quickly beside him.

MOM - Wow? Yes it does dear!

 

DAD circles the Chevelle.

DAD - Same color… and wheels even! Hot Dam! Reminds me of when you and I first started dating years ago Honey!

He peers through the window.

DAD - It even has the same Interior and center console!

 

John and Sister approach. John’s still focused on his phone.

 

EXTERIOR. PARKING LOT – BY THE CHEVELLE – CONTINUOUS

Dad suddenly stops, emotional. He turns toward John.

Dad places a hand on John’s shoulder.

DAD - Wow son, I don’t know what to say.

Dad starts crying.

John looks up, startled, and sees Dad in tears.

Dad turns back to the car, wipes his eyes.

JOHN - Dad? – What’s wrong??

(Looks over each shoulder)

JOHN - (CONT'D) - What’s going on here?? Did I miss something?

DAD - Going on? – C’mon, are you kidding me? You know what’s going on here! Youuu… number one son of mine.

DAD - Aaaah, come here! youuu…

Dad gives him a playful jab, and then suddenly hugs John tight.

John flinches

John, phone in hand, awkwardly pats him back with a puzzled look.

John glances at Mom, confused.

Dad steps back, trying not to cry again.

DAD - Son… (lips quivering) You didn’t have to do this.

He clutches his chest, sobbing once more.

JOHN - Didn’t have to do what? - Dad? Why are you getting emotional? And acting all weird and stuff?

DAD - Ah c’mon son, how long did it take you to find it?

JOHN - Find what?

SISTER - Wow you didn’t even tell your own sister?

JOHN - Tell you what?

Mom is holding back tears.

MOM - You are such an Amazing son.

 

EXTERIOR. PARKING LOT – CONTINUOUS

 

DAD - Ok son gimme the keys, let’s take this baby for a spin!

JOHN - Keys?

DAD - C’mon… Enough already.

DAD - Thank you from the bottom of my heart son.

Dad wipes away tears.

DAD - I had to sell this car to pay for the hospital bills when you were first born… another mouth to feed…

Dad stretches his hand out.

DAD - Now hand over the keys son, and we’ll start this baby up and take it down memory lane!

 

EXTERIOR. PARKING LOT – CONTINUOUS

 

John’s face contorts.

JOHN - Umm – Dad!

(He shrugs helplessly to Mom.)

JOHN - What the hell is happening!?

MOM - Just hand him the keys son?

JOHN - Dad – Mom – I don’t have any keys!

ALL (in unison) - What?

JOHN - No – uh – see this isn’t your… I didn’t…

Blank stares. Dad half-smiles, blinking rapidly.

DAD - I always dreamed of this day – but never thought it would ever come true… until today…

He laughs nervously.

JOHN (shouting) - DAD! LISTEN – I DON’T HAVE ANY KEYS! – AND I DIDN’T BUY YOU THIS CAR! - IT MOST LIKELY BELONGS TO SOMEONE INSIDE THE RESTAURANT!

They stare in disbelief.

SISTER - Seriously Johnny! – Just give dad the keys to his car! And stop joking around!

JOHN - I’m not joking! And for the last time – I DIDN’T BUY DAD THIS CAR!! - WHY WOULD YOU EVEN THINK THAT?!

DAD - What? You mean… this isn’t… my… my Bessy?

Dad clutches his chest, staggers. He gasps, and then collapses to his knees and falls flat, clutching his chest.

Customers inside the restaurant, stare out in concern.

SISTER (screaming) - LOOK WHAT YOU’VE DONE!

She kneels, panicked.

SISTER - Dad! DAD! How many fingers am I holding up?! Speak to me!

Son cannot believe this is all happening, while also watching his dad on the ground having what looks like a heart-attack over a misconceived, misconstrued, misunderstanding?

Son turns to Mom, who is shaking her head with tears welling up in her eyes — but this time from disbelief. Mom gives her son a stern, worried look.

Son glares back, frozen, then looks down at Dad again.

JOHN (pleads) - Listen! – You – You Don’t – ARRRR!

He shakes his head side to side, muttering.

JOHN (to himself) - EVERYTHNG WAS JUST FINE A MINUTE AGO! – Why? – Why? – Can’t we just go somewhere together – Have dinner with maybe a slice of apple pie? And-and some of that Um-Umm! Kumbaya and Peace on Earth on the side! Ya-that’s-it! Or something like that?! You know! Like normal families!? NnnnnNOPE! Something Al-l-lways has to happen! AARRRRGGGHH!

A couple passes by, gawks at them, and hurries away.

MOM (yelling) - SERIOUSLY! HOW COULD YOU BE SO INCONCEIVABLE! LIFE DOESN’T ALWAYS REVOLVE AROUND YOU JOHN RILEY!

She catches herself, and then rushes to Dad’s side.

SISTER - Dad is having a heart attack! All because of your stupid prank!

JOHN - PRANK!? - WHAT PRANK!?

SISTER - You did this for YouTube likes, didn’t you!? That’s why you had your phone in your hand!

John looks at his phone, then back up, in disbelief.

JOHN - I can’t believe this is happening right now?!

Dad jerks dramatically, twitching, and gasping.

MOM - OH DEAR!

SISTER – to John - Don’t just stand there! Call 911! - I hate you!

John fumbles with his phone.

Mom bends low over Dad, praying.

MOM - Oh Dear Lord – I beg you! – Please take me instead! Please don’t leave me my love – I – I – can’—t li—ve…

(Suddenly mom stops… then bursts into uncontrollable laughter.)

MOM - I – I – can’t Pfaff – Mu-waha! I – I – Ha! – HA! – HA!

Suddenly Dad starts uncontrollably chuckling as he is still lying on his back with eyes closed as Sister begins wailing an eerie laugh.

All of a sudden Dad opens his eyes. Dad, Mom, and Sister quickly stand up, laughing hysterically.

ALL TOGETHER - HA! – HA! – HA! Prank’s on you!!

SISTER - We got you goooou-u-u-d!

They high-five, cheering. Sister spins, singing.

Diners are staring at them from inside the restaurant shaking their heads.

John hyperventilates, clutching his chest.

 

From John’s phone:

911 OPERATOR (V.O.) - 911 – What’s your emergency!?

MOM (casually) - Your sister helped your father track down his old Chevy and he bought it last week.

SISTER - What’s the matter Johnny? You don’t look so good??

DAD - I’m hungry! Let’s go eat!

They stroll away toward the restaurant, leaving John still bent over staring down at the pavement.

 

911 OPERATOR (V.O.) - WHAT’S YOUR EMERGENCY?! WHO AM I SPEAKING WITH?...

The pranksters chat casually as they walk.

 

MOM - He didn’t have a clue!

SISTER - Nada.

MOM (chuckling) - “I hate you!” Where did that come from? That wasn’t in the script?

SISTER - “I know right? – That sibling rivalry thing again - Pewww – just kind of slipped out?”

They laugh.

MOM - Therapist says maybe a few more years, dear.

They laugh harder.

DAD - Hey! Looky there! Onion soup is Soup of the Day!

MOM - Birthday boy eats free tonight!

 

Sister smiles darkly, realizing the prank worked on her brother real G-O-O-U-U-U D.

FADE TO BLACK

 

OPTIONAL ENDING #1

John is hunched over, muttering.

JOHN - You all need some serious help! No, scratch that – you need to be locked up… in an insane asylum! Lobotomies even! Can I sue for this? WHY was I born into this whacked out family?!

 

FADE TO BLACK

OPTIONAL ENDING #2 Plus (POST-CREDITS GAG)

Sister turns back.

SISTER - Tell 911 something before they send fire trucks and ambulances! Or do you need one? And just so you know John… you could’ve found the car before Dad and I did and surprised him and got those YouTube likes.

Now I’m going to get a million likes or more!

You should consider acting – you’re a natural!

She points to a hidden camera in the car, waves to cameraman Bob nearby.

SISTER - Thanks Bob!

She licks her lips seductively.

FADE TO BLACK

THE END

 

Credits

Written by: Tom Stover
Scriptbook & Visuals Assembled With: ChatGPT (2025)
Illustrations: AI-generated cinematic frames, curated and selected with care
All Rights Reserved © 2025