Tarzan of the Jungle - Watch out for That..........

One Time ago.....

The Rope Swing

When I was much younger and dating my soon to be first wife, I decided to take her to the property my grandfather purchased down the road from where I lived.

It had a small creek and a few big rocks and tree’s all around the big rocks.  We walked over to one big rock and lo and behold someone had tied a long rope to one of the tree limbs above the rock so someone like Umwa could be Tarzan in front of new Girlfriend Jane (not her real name) and impress the primitive heck out of her with my not yet mastered adolescent testosterone powers. 

I dare you! She says to me. Um,… how deep is the creek?  I say out loud. Ah come on its not that deep she tells me with a hint of Chickeneze type slang?  All kinds of thoughts are racing through my head at once!  What if the rope breaks? What if the branch holding the rope breaks? What if? Come on just do it! She says with this wide eyed grin like she knows something I don’t........ You dare me?  …. so you dare me………why did you have to do that for?  Come on what are you waiting for? She adds.

 Alright already I tell her. Here hold my wallet, oh and take my comb. You better take the loose change too. (Always thinking ahead about that kind of stuff, don’t want to lose things in the creek especially my comb) I climb up on the 8 foot tall rock and grab onto the rope. 

When was the last time I rope swinged?  Oh ya, Never. 

 Is this rope safe I say out loud.  I tug on it and the tree branch moves and leaves start falling all around me.  Chicken!  What?  Me Chicken?  Why you’re talking to a Motocross racing daredevil of a man here, I ain’t no chicken! hey…You know?  I don’t think this rope is strong enough. What if it breaks? I tell her. Baak baak!  Come on Chicken  Baaaaak!  Bet you 1 dollar you don’t she quips. Okay that’s it! I can’t stand this tormenting, do it or put your tail between your legs and we go home mocking any longer, I’m Swinging!  So off I go soaring over the Amazon!  Heading towards the biggest wall of blackberry bushes you ever saw in your life on the other side of the creek,

or crick to some people around these parts. Ya!  Woohoo!  I’m at the apex now and getting ready to swoosh back and claim my victory prize from the -SNAP! -WOmaaa…aaAwe-maaan? 

I flip upside down and now I’m  torpedoing head freaking first into, UGH!  ...Thank god! For Berry Bushes!  Man if it wasn’t for them thorny suckers I probably would have been seriously hurt or worse!  oddly enough the berry bushes although quite prickly, and can also draw blood faster than a nurse, felt like an air bag and  the bushes saved me from almost not landing in the creek but cushioned the head first dive never-the-less.  Now my head is under water with part of my one cat scratched and bleeding shoulder. …WATER! COLD! HOLD BREATH!.... Hey!  I’m ALIVE!  (GET UP NOW!) WOW? Did you see that?

That was a miracle I say to myself.

Hey! These Bushes just saved my li-...  Yep there she was laughing so hysterically on her side that she was almost rolling off the rock and into the creek herself.

 I wade back to the other side where……She is still in hysteric’s.

 It’s not that funny!  I could have died just then!  I wasn’t too happy about her now snort filled laughter but crack a small embarrassing smirk on my face trying not to laugh with her laughing at me anyways.

Yes it was a little embarrassing, and you know what else? If I was seriously injured and lying there motionless under water, she would still be laughing 20 minutes later and not calling 911 or something.  How do I know this? Because for 20 minutes on the drive back to my house no make that the drive back to my house and the drive back to the creek to get my wallet, she was still laughing so hard that she could hardly breathe, that’s how I know.  I ended up marrying her anyway, but that’s another story. (Hence the words-First wife)

All of the scenic Pictures above were taken at the actual location the same year the snort filled laughter event took place.

I couldn't believe I still had these picture until I was looking for some other photo's and found them and the photo's prompted me to write about this...

One Time Ago.....

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